“I already understand and agree with all this, why do I need a retreat / more exposure to Truth?”
The ego hears the eternal Truth, and it is difficult to argue with, difficult to refute. You may have heard the teachings, and your mind may have decided it all makes sense, and it agrees with it all. So it says, “I already agree with all this, I have heard this before, I understand it now, why do I need a retreat, or more exposure to Truth?” Again, this is all about the refining of your energy, and coming to a place of embodying the Truth within you, living it fully, becoming it utterly in your whole being. This is very very different from merely hearing about IT and the intellect agreeing that these teachings are valid. To understand the Truth is to live it fully. Merely being able to mentally repeat words and concepts of higher Truth is useless to you. To what degree has it come alive inside of you? To a starving man, reading a menu and knowing all the ingredients is not the same as having the meal itself. The Truth will nourish you and set you Free to the degree that you have been able to implement it in your life. Otherwise, it remains philosophical and dry, and then it is no longer Truth. The menu is not the food, and has no power to nourish or sustain you. The key to this path is momentum. To use another analogy, if you want to become a world class athlete, it is not enough to know everything about training techniques, have top quality facilities, a brilliant trainer, etc.. You actually have to train. Similarly, with the Path, you must purify your energy, and release the lower illusion and negativity, or else there is no progress. You may immerse yourself in the Path intensely to begin with, and so you will begin to awaken many new insights and capacities. It is joyful and exciting. You discover a world you never knew existed, a way of being you had never imagined. But if you get complacent, or lazy, or for whatever reason you stop, or think you understand it now, then the gains soon get swamped by all the unresolved patterns and conditioning that still remain, and which you are no longer releasing on a daily basis. And then you will forget that you even made such rapid progress at the beginning when you were training intensely.
Many people go through this. When you forget momentum, it is easy to slip back into old habits, and your vibration drops. This brings great suffering, because at least now you know there is another way. In this state, it is easy to forget all about growth, and return to the old life of clinging and resistance. When you DO keep the momentum on your Path, the same difficult tests may come, but you start to feel that Grace is carrying you through all difficulties and obstacles. When your intent for growth and the Path is constant, unbroken, then when the challenges do arise, you somehow discover the strength and the courage and the inspiration within you to let go of what you need to release, and you always find your way through, growing all along the way. That is when it becomes a wondrous adventure.